Daybreak

I had been about 2 years into my new chosen name - going by Jade felt deeply accurate for the spirit encapsulated within my flesh and bones. It was around this time, I discovered a piece of my identity which i hadn’t known was missing. The fulfillment of said piece was the outcome from natural magic broadening my circumstance. I needed a prefix!

“Alright, im off to the basement, make sure you listen to Ms. Jade.”

Whoa. My chest got warm in this momentary ceremonious grant of my promoted title. 

Becoming a babysitter changed my life. 

In the insane year 2020 was for everyone, if it wasn’t for the shutdown of just about every place i could’ve gotten a job, i wouldn’t have gotten one off-grid. Part of the modern post pandemic world is that a lot of us had to come up with new ways to exist economically. And a common functional means to that was by the digital revolution in the mainstream, wherein venmo, cashapp, banks, etc. empowered people to transfer monies to people. When our collective financial sources are By The People For The People, we really are winning the war against capitalistic scams.

Pretty much right out of high school, my good friend, who happened to be the owner of a youth fitness center, gave me a chance. His judgements on me and society made sense: ‘oh you're an upbeat girl! you fit the cast. im hiring preschool gym class teachers. want a job?” 

I did not expect to fall in love with a professional role; or that my new found instincts and personality traits would care for children in ways so compelling and delightful, i started to Love Myself. The confident character i naturally took on in the kids gym was the person i needed to be then, and actually forever too, and in knowing that initially, i felt safe in society, and most importantly, content in who i am. Succeeding in this chance would provide opportunities for a lifetime. For $7.25/hr, 35hrs/week, i had the equivalent of a masters degree - i can always work at childcare in america.

Flashforward to when I remembered this and took advantage of Care.com, during the pandemic, when schools nationwide were closed and A LOT of parents needed people for the attunement of that condition . The most essential worker isn’t the cashier who got replaced by self-service checkouts or those stuck in corporate castles from the comfort of their couch on zoom meetings. It’s the servicers who strive for future generations in support of a new and improved collective consciousness; especially now, as 2020 might've right been the global start-over humanity connected in.

“Oh, wow, MS. jade. Thanks, Ms. Stewart :)” i said to my boss.

“haha my friends call me Maria :)” she replied.

We had a nice connection, south jerseyians who were familiar inside each other just by way of sculpt from being white women a tad close in age who embodied similarities from sharing the same kind of world experiences. I signed on for her two girlies - the 5 year old does remote kindergarten and the 2 and half year old is amusing. And, the 3rd child is on the way - the family’s boy.

I loved being the help in a rich family. Vibes were high. I loved the genuine person my 5 year old bff became. I loved the ways in which the 2.5 year old expressed herself, so curiously and cutely, and understood me as the lady trailing behind all her exploratory gain of toddler independence. i loved Being Ms. Jade…  not ms.kristine, not Jade ET, but an idyllic combination of the two. The perfect developmental merge of persona for the sake of triumphing past the year of the apocalypse and my first year of being sober.

These are cute, i uttered, placing old navy jeans in baby clothes form on the bed. Good morning, im here! I arrive to the girls finishing breakfast made by their momma. Our routine is to change from pajamas into our daily play outfit. The 2.5 year old dressed herself in an outfit i always picked out, something i mindfully selected based on what i wore, so we would compliment one another nicely. Let’s see i got on plain navy blue long sleeves and gray yoga pants sooo you would look awesome in navy blue jeans and this gray t-shirt with a pink mermaid on it. Slay, princess n queen! 

After getting dressed, we play. She went to climb upon a chair I set out in front of a table with crayons and paper on it. However, i noticed when she lifted her leg to get onto the chair, she kinda couldn’t. She let out a whine and tried to lift her other leg. No achievement. With every elevated step, she couldn’t reach the position to climb into the seat. I realize - it’s because her jeans are too tight. I notice her knees can’t bend because they are strapped in denim. I cackle laughed. Damn, girl! You are only 2 and experiencing the troubles of being female. Great look but im wondering how your chunky thighs even got in them jeans. Welcome to womanhood, lil sweetie, where standards for beauty put us through discomfort. But! Don’t worry. Ms. Jade can save you.

Quickly though, without explanation needed, she too realized she had donned herself in a trap. She was trapped in jeans, and impressively beyond what i thought was her intellectect, knew she needed to escape. Without me saying a word, she started running (hobbling really because of the unyielding pants) back to her bedroom where she knew alternative garments were available.

I followed after, and opened the dresser revealing sweatpants and stretchy leggings. I assisted her in undressing, and learned that this is probably my misconception of ‘skinny jean fashion’ & these pants are too small. 6 months ago, these likely fit just fine; the physical growth of a toddler would be more the true case than a clothing company being like, ‘let’s make toddlers clothes the same as women’s clothes’ & the babysitter, with the purest intentions, being like ‘mini me!’

As our seasons together faded into a pastime, I regard that gig as one of my many favorites. In the summer when kindergarten ended and the baby boy was born, my work here was done. Good thing too, because holy moly, my balloon business was blowing up! Smoothest transition anyone could ever sail into. Having the honor and pleasure of being Ms. jade conditioned me for being Jade Tyde: Balloon Artist. Stay tuned in, turn on and up, and model a red and purple flower crown.