Daybreak

There was a quote about music from a wikipedia page.

Before i got on twitter, my favorite way to wormhole on the internet was to educate myself via the cultural discoveries in The Free Encyclopedia. My high school friends and i would play a game where we, on classroom desktops, would begin at the same page from searching a random topic on wiki. Example: everyone starts on the page for “Axl Rose”. From there, we would come up with a second topic, unrelated to the original one, and click upon the various links, leading us through many pages, until someone lands on the page for the second random topic. Example: from Axl Rose, first person to get to the page for “Mitochondria” wins. 

When I fell in love with musical artists during this era, I always looked up their wikipedia pages. So I could build more of a personal connection to the characters and stories within the songs, increasing the value and enjoyment of my audio amusements… the songs which ultimately became philosophy teachers to me.

 Modest Mouse was one of my most formative themes. I have quit listening to those guys for health reasons since my initial intake of them. Nonetheless, issac brock and the concept of the band’s name forever memorialize an earlier version of myself, who i still have a loving relationship with.

Virginia Wolfe, an author of my inspiration, is apparently responsible for naming the dark rock n rollers. She wrote something and the musicians felt it, and carried it over to themselves. That’s a natural beauty to me- when art inspires more art; and honestly the correct path for self-expression as a means to awaken and advance humanity. 

I see a lot of creators getting mad at others, for “stealing ideas”...? Or dying on a hill for “intellectual property rights”. Imo, consciousness is everpermeating so your thoughts cannot belong exclusively to you. Plus, the literal flow of time in relation to one’s senses are, spiritually and scientifically, connected; that means if you’re existing and something attracts you to it, then you remake it or incorporate it into your selfhood, that process is in alignment with totality. Of course, some artist's innate narcissism will fight that their work is theirs alone (ironically against the point of art - to resonate in each other). But! A true soul of artistry will feel flattery from their copycat’s admiration.   

Okay so the Virginia Wolfe quote is,

“I wish I could hit upon a pleasant track of thought, a track indirectly reflecting credit upon myself, for those are the pleasantest thoughts, and very frequent even in the minds of modest mouse-coloured people, who believe genuinely that they dislike to hear their own praises.” 

Much like professor I. Brock, this sentence became an identity trait of mine.

& one of the songs changed my life. 

https://youtu.be/1TXdU9LMmv4?si=o9jV0DQnAD5ym_Gn

~~~~

I began pondering the difference between modesty and humility. Seems like being modest is a respectful, level-headed awareness of your expression’s appearance to others, and being humble is a self-assessment wherein you downplay who you are. 

I don’t exactly fit into molds properly, but i kinda got broken up with once because they said i needed to be more humble for us to be a match. And, much in a un-humbled person’s fashion, i didn’t feel like i wanted to stoop. 

Now, along with the notes of mopey music and why people mismatch, recently i had my first serious test on my actions surrounding being modest and humble. Grade? A freakin’ plus. Content? Protecting people from my wholesome authenticity is not my duty; And I refuse to lower the miraculous importance of Life itself. 

Who likes drama? Ha~hA! 

My most recent partnership came to a timely close when working on proper ethics masked the real version of myself. Get it right - it is vital for me to practice moderate modest mentality, because i confess to being a bit, like, let’s just say i have been one a those people who sometimes has no filter. Regardless, no one should be constantly hiding their bona fide essence, in a busted state of generalized anxiety and fear. That’s a flippin’ concept that ended with the annihilation of the partner who used modesty and humility as pride points for our togetherhood being unconditional Acceptance. Uhg, im sucha gullible Gilda! Factually, it was never the pursuit of good morals, but instead, my dissociative identity disorder keeping me stuck in silence. Baby out with the bathwater. 

It gets better. When polyamory was the worst of what it is! Average Joes thought they could enter the magical queendom of the mind of Jade Etcetera Tyde. This is where I pass my test with flying colors, all of the colors except green and orange.

I apologize (consider your feelings), but I'm not sorry (disagree with your feelings). #modest [hence, I'm gone.]

The problem is the misconception that Equality is the functioning of everyone in one picture on the same plane, with exchangeable abilities, making up the qualities of behaving fairly. To some extent that could work, however, i’ve grown to believe, based on direct experience, that this module is extremely elementary. And that it should probably be outgrown in a sequence of healthy development (personal and global). 

I, for better & for worse, identify as a Rugged Individualist. So, a MF’r like me could never squeeze within a paradigm which states, “polyamorists practice fairness and compassion to everybody in their circle.”... IF/WHEN THE CIRCLE IS THE MISMATCHES BELOW MY FEET STANDING GIANTLY OVERHEAD. 

Sorry (guilty of my true feelings), but i am able to shift to a softer tone (allow nature but don’t let it show). # humble. [hence, I'm gone.]

Perhaps this essay delivered some insight. I wanna be a Revolutionary. If it’s one word that got a hold on me from my adventures in a rural commune lifestyle remotely based in the Jersey part of Philly, it’s me being a Revolutionary. I guess google kinda defines it with a warlike connotation, but i like to reinvent (artist stealing haha) the term to mean- anyone willing to play part in the betterment of our shared world(s) story. Stay woke, and above the influence of unenlightenment. Mouse out <3