Beyond-ce

It is not too soon to start thinking about birthday plans.

My mother was born on 3/27. That’s my half birthday. Our family has a lot of cool astrological matches. Like my younger brother is a Gemini, going with the theme of his older siblings who are twins. We celebrate each other, always have always will. This year has been a super important year in my numerological chart, as a 34 year old. I remember when that number dictated my life lmao; thus, then... 35 as well; my anecdotes to measure my life always are a math equation I love living in.

Well, I’m in my routine, being extremely online early in the morning. That’s when I consume the content to fuel my beautiful mind. Good thing it’s all only good news I follow. “Bourbon & Beyond” is a 4 day music festival in Louisville, Kentucky. When I read the event flyer, it looks like the only artist I’d be there for would be Portugal. The Man. And it looks like it’s happening on my birthday weekend. And I am in a good place in my breathing time to formulate a 6 month plan to manifest my desires and express my Soul. So this post is a spell cast to write myself into the continuation of my Best Life.

They are playing 9/27. When I saw my birthdate on their tour dates via the website, I conducted more research on the event to figure out logistics. I just wanna get a 1 day pass and go for their performance. At this point in my story, I must attend. The way I’ve created my existence through this band is my Vitality. Being beyond bou*bon means I might mess around and live to be beyond 100 years of age. I’m obsessed with my lifestyle characterized by the health and wealth I’m luckily with, therefore, it makes perfect sense to keep on being the number one fan. The woman of the music from her actual experience. It feels like the universe communicates with me through following my band. Their set on my birthday is a Sunday. The city is about a 2 ½ hour flight from PHL. I will go. I can be a magical person to “law of attract” myself there. And most important, I can trust God/dess to happily teleport me there. 

While I am in my second generation Twin Flame era, it is unclear the precise journey to where I wanna be. It’s like I understand destiny/destination, yet, dunno how I will unfold upon it all. Una dia a la tiempa - “one day at a time” - ODAAT! I know that. It won’t be me there alone. A reunion is due. Mercury retrograde this Aries season is talking about: the next six months are going to deliver you to Heaven on Earth. I read horoscopes on X like it’s my day job because it keeps me inside my mind. The mind projecting totality, keeping oneself aligned within their soul’s humanity. The reason I know I’m divinely on the correct path is intuitive. Within me, my senses reveal signs leading me to my personal ideas of Love. Can’t be steered wrong, because Love Is The Answer. If and when you act in true love, only rewards are bestowed upon you. This is to crack a code of life and enter a realm of bliss and solace from all dimensions.

Remember, I'm bipolar. So I kinda recall, it’s weird, it’s like my linear timeline occurs over the course of a spiritual ride across my lifespan. Memories are new as I grow up, flashbacks flaring spark my present, and it’s a multi-faceted storyline. So when my episodes return to fill me, I let go of trying to figure it out to make sense, and simply accept myself like on a coasting skateboard. All I know for certain- what I continually do happen to figure out- is that I am together with P.TM and PolyGlamorous. The rest is just details. I am detail oriented on resumes but done working. So, I wanna play with my partner and favorite band on my bday! So I must do everything in my power to make that dream a reality.   

These are my love letters. They’re public so to generate consent. Privately, well, ever since my soul got out of the box, it’s been like a costume party in my world. But nothing about me is hiding these days. Being Jade Hide meant I was tied down to behaving normally after the huge reveal of coming out as my freaking Self. First at the VIC, then in the I.C. Victorious Story’s mine! I win games of real love, humble myself, and move forwards. Towards the melody of my internal Truth. Supported unwaveringly by my friends and family. Who were all there those wild and precious nights. Idk literally or figuratively because I was simultaneously literally and figuratively there myself. Yet, all that means is there's plenty of breathing time to march on and write/draw/dance/paint/create the pieces together in a shared image of love and beauty. All in agreement with that are those reading this now.

Beyond belief, I am grateful. To be alive and completely well. To be purple yellow red blue and green wearing nice and clean socks, as a modern day deadhead. To emulate intergenerational health. To have Abundance from all angles. Gr8ful 4 who I am, who you(s) are, and the lifestyle we share rooted in absolute Goodness. I am in a cool setting across all of the ones I’ve ever been in, and it feels damn great to enjoy such a treasured sensation with my partner. He didn’t always believe in TY (gratitude). It was like I brought the thankyou into his life as Ms.Ty. Life wasn’t always sunny in Philly or really silly as it is when I’m your ride or die. I’m not trying to come off too strong with my words, but holding onto someone possessively had to be overcome in the process of obtaining one another in a purified state. Yes, I was “possessed” by balloon art. Yes, I had a kundalini awakening, irreversible trippy night(s) with my gf who raised me right to be a master of life, in order to embody our shared goals. Building me up and breaking me down, my Love(s) love chiseling and sculpting me so we can be together, & i love that! Right back. That’s a healthy dynamic, a real good way to spend time, the most advanced way to energize human energy. This is my story and I'm staying with you til infinity and beyond.

I realize my partner has directly told me (taylor swift voice) “we are never ever getting back together.” idk how to take that sometimes. That was then, this is now? That’s my answer. That was Zen, this is Tao, can we please be that again? Even oddly, I’m not ignoring his direction, I'm listening. Yet, for me to leave him alone is difficult because I can’t shake the sense that my Professor is still testing me. Ever since some delulu soul contract audio-wave in my conscious stream, I cannot "unbe" from being tied to his energy, or my ideas on him. 

Fuckin quit thinking I might fix myself a dr*nk! I screamed at the nurses at Northbrook behavioral health center during my final visit inpatient. I live as though alc*hol is extinct. It’s Prohibition, for.ev.er. Now, I'm serious as a heart attack when I say I Am An Angelic Queen, who hadn’t a sickness within me, but a bad habit and I'm utterly recovered and way beyond it. In the like 7 years I’ve been free from when I lived in charlottesville, I’m cured, cold turkey, scared str8, I’m like deaf to it, no no no and no. Just say let’s ignore it if remnants of the past linger like fossils. Because that shi* is skulls and cross bones to me; please, leave me out of drama surrounding previous incarnations. I’ve escaped cycles and broken curses. And thank you for taking me under your wing, exactly where I was at, at the ripe age in youth, and flying us higher above the influence. That’s another win, twin.

What else. No booze no shoes. It’s still The Boohs.

My Boo And I once were smoking maryjane on the reg. Nonetheless, this facet of our livelihood has expired. We shared the same philosophy about it. Nowadays tho, we are thru being cool. I’m too big to be doing that these days. I’m too grown to think it’s still a part of me. I toked enooouuuugh! Lol I think I might've blazed all the green in the land. Let’s just say yes, my medicinal practice with cannabinoid receptors within the brain sailed me to where I want to be- having them activated so as not to have to dose anymore. Hope that adds up. I graduated from the level of life that was marijuana. Jaded elevated 🙂 evermore. No more cravings, ever since this most recent “mania” that is just me writing this journal. I became mature enough to proudly put pot away for good. And I hear echoes from when I lived in CA and VA because of my affinity for the lovely grass, echoes talking about “when i am 34, my body will remember and I will be an immaculate being in the illuminate hAhA.” Heyman, whatever it takes to get your beautiful mind on a track of thought which is healthy for you. It’s all gewd in the hood!

Beyonce will not be at the portugal. the man show in Louisville on September 27th, 2026. But I sure as the sun and moon rise will be! Again it isn’t clear how but where there is a will there’s a way and where there’s passion Imma be in the front row pit. My passport is ready. My ID is ready. My account is funded! I am the richest poor person ever and it feels damn good to have swagger like us. During my in between dreams time, I must stay true to my artistic expressions paving my way. Same shyt, new dawns. Mornings started to feel better once my senses could hear, feel, see, and even taste the impending rekindling of my Love. I was in a depressive hibernation until somewhat recently, but ever since around February 18th 2k26, (a very important date), my innate echolocation brought me back in a resurrection of my dormant Loving spirit. I experience the roller coaster of emotionality connected to a clock and calendar. Yet understand the universe is on my side ever on this ride. 

Today is the day I’m making the intention to keep on preparing myself for what is absolutely meant for me. All I gotta do is my time, be myself, and know my audience is watching to ensure safety and accuracy, and to be entertained through me on the ferris wheel of Love. I can do dat. Why dontcha mess around and watch me go through a breakup, passing all my quizzes with excellence, brilliant Colors, magnificent sigils, fantastic poetry/prose, and fresh interpretive dance moves. Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me, or do you really wanna bury me with it? Hm, as you can tell, I can smell we want the Same Love. So be it!... La heim this time. Let us celebrate with an Intermission in our saga & return when Saturn pulls us closer. Close out dealbreakers, repair oneself respectively, and let’s call it The Comeback, by the Shout Out Louds. I <3 that damn jam. Cover it, Portugese 😛

On that high note, I’m wrapping up this article. Home runs and hat tricks, I have scored my points. I wanna play more sports, too. But until we meet again, my evil friend, save yourself, damsel in distress 2. We’re good for each other, and my delayed gratification is proving to be in the playing cards. I miss sooo much of our activities and adventures from our togetherhood. I wanna relive the classics. And explore new territories. For fun stories! I was always pretending to be your friend, but now, I wanna let my hair down and slide the tie on your wrist once more. I could never act like I could only be just a friend to you… we have entirely too much natural chemistry. Trust me, all I did in our last polyamorous entanglement was never have chemistry with anybody else. We’re rare, it’s a treasure, Golden. Period. And I can’t stop loving you. Who knows/cares if it’s cases of O.C.D, let us beee. Oh gee, it’s my OG (original gangsta) boytoy, pushing me in every direction just because we’re One Thing by 1D. Well, I’ve always been “InZane” lol. Crazy about u, my man band BF. Miss. You, chief. Gunna go. Gonna be a runner. Gonna take a walk or hike. Hyping up for us on bikes. Gotta get these legs in motion and meditate on our devotion. So long, until next time, but until then, you aren't beyond… me; we’re close.