me > the rolling stones

Today, I’m feeling better than ever.


It’s the equinox. Ode to the dawning of the next era - Springtime. Our day and night are equal so now is a good opportunity to balance out oneself. I’m cleansed from the hibernation that was the Winter. My mind is content with the story I live in. I know that because I’ve been energizing what I want, manifestation is occurring. I’m a creatrix for my own life, the one inclusive of my partner(s). A lot of this sounds like an echo, yet, I really want to bridge even more evidence of my deepest and pure desire. So that I may maximize my experience within this loving planet. Following up with my own damn plan, ma’m. It’s good to be here.


I’m changing something about the way I present myself this morning. I have a video meeting with my doctor. My doctor and I have a history of disliking each other. This person has a job to feed me drugs when I believe that’s bad for me. Typical of bipolar folks to not wanna take mEdiCinE. But the people who populate my life have given me HELL about being on meds. So I eat pharmaceuticals to comply to them, just to make it okay through their lens, despite it not being okay in mine. Good thing (most) pills are placeboes. By this I mean, nothing is going to alter my body chemistry away from the person I Love being. But Haliperidol really did give me little voice inside my brain that was hurtful to my Qi. So my doctor took me off that, and put me on Paliperidone. Which does nothing. So fine. And they also have me on Divalproex. I don’t believe I have any chemical imbalances, because I believe in wordplay. I’m a Diva… a Queen. A bipolar bear and it’s not a disorder, it is a lifestyle of beauty, art, and spirituality.


My goal is to graduate from doctors and taking their prescriptions. True Health for me is being drug-free. I hate the act of popping my “medicine”. It’s not a supplement or nutrients, it’s just an empty plastic Lego. The effects are a falsehood; it does nothing. I can manage my wellness without the unnecessary usage of pills. So when I express this to my doctor, I must be professional. I mustn’t get upset or rebellious. I have to communicate with my doctor, as my own doctor of my life first. My doctor can’t dictate and force me a damn thing. I am my own advocate for living my healthiest lifestyle. Being on social security disability means I’m responsible for my livelihood in being a patient; but today, it’s time to woman up and kindly equalize myself to this doctor as a Doctor of mySelf.


Okay. This is gong to be a brief post because my point is made. Know that yes, I’m medicated and healthy, yet, on the horizon a higher version of health is my wish. One wherein my intelligent mind doesn’t ne*d any pharmaceuticals. I’m energizing my polyamorous partnership, and also, my own ability to be in it, through the perspective of "doctors". This is part of my story I gotta work on. Lawd knows Love is what I need to work at/on. So let me take care of that from every angle. Myself first, then spell upon my chosen squad. Professor Coleman out.   

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