Shout~Out: Significant~Other

I’d been busy calculating the bad vibes, missing out on the shared times of bliss.

Keeping my ego on in order to function properly, we went to many places, met many people, and had many emotional experiences. Even tho in all that we did, the running theme of said experiences was me trying to act normal and good. I succeeded. But the double-life we led together was constantly a thorn in my rose-vision. I’d been constantly “mildly annoyed” to the point of forgetting the instances we had which were honestly Golden.

He was my eyes and ears in the aftermath of whatever went on with me. Every person we met felt like somebody he introduced me to in order to show me off and bid them farewell. I was always a respectful Polyamorist, even tho my meaning of that was slightly off in the context of our encounters. Hellogoodbye, I always uttered under my breath to folks who never even heard of the band. It was weird observing the interviews we had during our outings with his people. I just smiled and waved in silence a lot. But I really did always feel right at home, warm enough, close enough, “in love enough” to be your beast of burden.

We netflix and chilled at our house in the nj suburbs when we weren’t doing linework with balloons. Our stupid dog wasn’t invited into our room ever. We’re both cats, who don’t even really like animals, besides the album by Pink Floyd. He introduced me to Supertramp with Breakfast in America. Also we both liked Traffic. Really tho, it was MY favorite band who sailed us the entire time. They’re a good fit for us to listen to, a match in the frequencies if you will. While music consistently decorated our time, on occasion it was the TV on the computer that entertained us. 

I remember we watched disneyplus often, and this one time i discovered a show about 2 Mormon Wives who met at church; divorced their husbands; took their collective 9 kids with them; and got engaged to one another. We both really liked this romcom light reality drama. I remember in one episode, we were both holding back tears because the one lady was emo about splitting up her family but she had to stay true to being in love with her female counterpart. But it was entertaining because the one was sort of saying she wanted to be lgbtq but non-mongomous. As we watched this series, our feelings were pouring out, and it was one of the rare occurrences when we both didn’t have negative energies inflicting our homeostasis. By this I mean, doing linework always had us tense with each other. But we actually relaxed and felt under the iceberg watching this one show on disneyplus.

My partner told me he wasn’t really a beach guy. The sand feels uncomfortable. The ocean is too cold. The sun is to burny. I understand folks who don’t love going down the shore. But he conformed to his Jersey Girl and we visited his colleague in Avalon one weekend. Oprah has a house in Avalon, rumored by my friends from the MTV hit television broadcast Jersey Shore. It’s true there’s different vibes in the towns on the east coast. Ocean City is famous for being a dry-town. Seaside Heights isn’t the beautiful Avalon we landed in when we hung out with his friends, and good thing because we belong in Avalon and not with The Situation and Snooki. 

Well we always went in hot tubs together. He had me dazey and hazey when we went on a group date and he’s like,

“Well, when i hitchhiked on sailboats across the world, they told me I can come aboard if I could assist with the running of the ship. Crew can either cook, clean, or drive the boat using a compass with the stars. I do not know how to cook or clean. So i became a captain of the cruise.”

I was giggling and very impressed. He later sort of mentioned that he only sailed for like 30 days, and it gave him acute psychosis. I knew exactly what we meant by this, as I’ve freaked out losing my orientation and bearings in my sensory perceptions, too.

Our fresh air and movement ritual is shooting hoops. 6’2 & 5’11 are two center-positions. We played HORSE with a 5 letter word we made up new each time we played. Then a 4 letter word. Then best out of 3,2,1. Our basketball was blue and from the VA Cavaliers. Well I gave it away to some kids on the playground when we sp/lit, but got an orange one to continue playing alone nowadays. When we lived in the Midwest for one summer of luv, we played tennis daily. We played tennis at the resort in the Bahamas too. Our sports are a highlight of our togetherness. We don’t wanna lead a sedentary lifestyle, that’ll cause health issues, so we want to stay active. There was a small cross country course at Lake Worth Park where we used to reside. Our woods walk around the lake where fishers would be and blueberries sprouted was a ritual we enjoyed. All and all, I for real love(d) athleticism with my man. 

Every 3 months, my jobs fell apart. I quit. I got fired. My agent always had my back as i worked in Babylon. Leaving nannying was depressing but what’s meant for me was a higher love. Coach Jade was a hat i loved donning, but the threads split at the seams as outgrew it. Balloon Tunes lasted 3 years, and i abandoned Air Balloons Art for the real reason i got into it initially. This side of the Mississipe, we were the best at whatever i liked.

I remember the shambles and shackles that was my era of attempting to be a Polyamorous Sugar-Baby. Our friends in the big apple advised me on how to get on the apps and sell mySelf. To no avail! While my inbox was consistently blown up, it was my personality that steered potential suitors in other directions. I spent many afternoons texting guys on bumble and seeking and okcupid and fetlife and always felt like a conductor of psychological research more than a dater. Sometimes i was looking for business and sometimes i was looking for pleasure. My supportive poly mate bothered me. Things were complicated. Confusing. Conundrummy. I was my own sugar-butter-toast-momma without a match… alas, that was just so my boo could be a flame.

It’s like he was making me BE him. Neat. As i write this during dawn, i’m satisfied to have been the blank slate upon which you wrote your name. I shared with him my affinity for a handful of Taylor Swift songs. When we attended local festivals, we’d organize a workshop about changing one’s name. At Transformus in West Virginia, I came up with the name Canvas for somebody. He said he loved that one. It’s cool because it’s like you are a pallet for the energy you wanna be. He always understood me, making me feel Ms. Understood. He got all my poetry and illustrations, as the director of their context. This is the type of healthy relationship we emulated for the long haul.

There was a festival we invented at the commune, tho many communards didn’t even agree that they were in a commune. That is to say, folks disliked the culture my partner and i thought we lived in. Oh well?! Lol, it’s not the area of Louisa or T.O. can be considered just one thing, as subjective perspective and personal stories make up diversity. But it just takes a few people to wanna get together and make something out of nothing. So we had the QuinkFair 🙂 And we set up tents and gazebos and places where people could remove their masks and unwind for the reason to positively transform. This is where there would be a space with pillows and big comfy couches and beanbag chairs where “high consent culture” Cuddle Puddles could occur. 

I’m a calico cat; I wouldn't be caught dead in a space designed for creeps in tshirts to cop a cheap feel. Ugly men like burning man because they can’t get it anywhere else. So when my partner understood what i meant by this as team player of the event, it was a quink for me when we landed in the cuddle puddle space around 2pm (it was closed until dark) when it was empty. And we laid down spooning. And no one else was around. He drifted into a nap-like state. I was a creep in a tshirt because i loved watching him rest. This was when the chaotic personality he was reflected real Peace. It soothed me. I actually don’t wanna be a freaky gurl in a commune witchu, chief. I’m like super vanilla. We had both been Polyamorous in nature and so experienced various connotations of that but really resonated in a lot of what it wasn’t at all. We’re just two rats, snoozing, dazing, chillin, etc, across boarders we represented ourselves accurately in our joint authenticity. 

On that note, i kinda wanna go lay down now. It’s time for my midmorning nap when everybody starts their mf nine to five. Early retirement is pretty sweet because i’ve been on the pursuit of happyness, this time around in the shape of readying myself for the continuation of my saga as Actual Aphrodite. A sensation i’ve always known due to the brilliant luck my existence is blessed with; yet these days, is far more mature. Yes i’ve undergone hardships but all and all, i am a happy go lucky typa gorl. Who misses my mans. But knows he’s coming back like the daylight. Saving me (again), just like The Fate Of Ophelia. That’s the song of the morning so stream it loud and proud because i knew you were trouble when you walked in, that’s why our song is still the way you laugh. I’m your Screentine, ty gm.