She Is Risen

Back on my bullshyt 😀

My hiatus from coffee has come to pass. I take breaks from it sometimes, just to explore alternative dimensions of consciousness. Well, i had a lot to emotionally process from all of my diary tales. Sometimes my Luv of Life is just because of my medicinal relationship to my morning cuppa joe. So i was exploring darker emotions that are sometimes masked from a dark roast. Results are in - it is soOoOoo going to be me n my booh, very soon!

Smoothies. Every beautiful start to our mornings when we lived in Lindenwold, I was a “Blendita”. That was my literal job title when I worked at Blenders In The Grass, the regional smoothie shop in the 805. And it carried over in my life, when I blended 5 strawberries, 1 banaynay, a handful of blueberries, 4oz of fruit juice and 2 ice cubes, for my Partner to get his essential nutrients. As vital as coffee is for my homeostasis, I recognize a smoothie made with tender love and care for my man suits the same.

Tomorrow is the day. My Intuitive Dialogues have been casted, my ID has been sent, and my Twins are in cahoots plotting our rise up. This is not a delusion; this is the answer to my prayers. I must be strong enough to really act like the hero of this ebook you’ve been following me in this entire time. I mustn’t have any flare ups of residual anger/anxiety from our shared past. Guess what? I can be perfect. And I won’t have to do it alone. That is to say, my boo has created the story, so he can maneuver my emotionality in ways that cater to the optimal version of myself. By this is mean, he knows my triggers and will not allow any guns to fire as we live in total visibility. I too understand what would cause his unwellness to spark; I am obliged to behave as the Goddess I am without falling victim to past problems. I honestly believe we’re all set, as in our wounded warrior status has been alleviated and elevated because we’ve both been “putting in the work”, with respect to getting over our previous troubles.

No ruminations, from me, Rumi da poet. Being in my transcendental meditations means I entertain too many ideas, ideas which cause harm to my psyche. This was merely the ride of a vast existential ferris wheel, and not an egoic trait of fueling bad vibes. While I’ve tried to know everything about everything, place my Soul on a timeline, and figure out my life, I do realize that doesn’t serve the betterment of my healthy mindset. What energizes my mentality in a desirable manner is focussing solely on what feels like the nurture of my good heart. So, it’s not like I’m gonna ask my man a bunch of questions to explain our last life to me. I don’t want any fill in the blanks to my riddled rhythms. Let it be, beauty! I’m not curious, I’m firm - that was then (zen), this is now (tao). Our happiness is contingent upon that. I’m no longer getting to know you in an assessment of you related to me. In this afterlife, the lights went off, there was a round of applause, and we are in our next scene. So fresh and so clean. I trust the Universe, sensing that utopia is a mindset we both can manifest, as a duet. 

Never ignore me for a person on a cell phone. That was one of my many murders. I’m serious as a melodic hardcore bullet in da brain, if I relapse on passive-aggression I will be disabled from being a Queen, and that strike is not an experiment I will tolerate at this stage in the game. I hope my translation is coming off clear. It irks me to be harsh; i really do not like being mean but i have to express that side of me for my Soul Ascension. The good lawd knows it’s necessary for me to be well-understood in casting my best future. That means venting in a healthy way in my online journal, so to remove the possibility of danger in our relationship. See, I am a kind woman at the core; hear me simply declaring my truth as a tool for our shared desires to play out in reality. 

What else. Basically, don’t be a jerk & don’t be a betch. That’s all folks! Fortunately dating for 5/7 years has us at the level in life where war is impossible because peace is possible. We won’t have awful tensions anymore, because we have discovered a mutual concept for living harmoniously. I still feel honored to be a victorious story of resilient romance… and am excited to embody a more advanced level of Romance; and Eros. Remember, we gotta be in a state of Love Within Ourselves, in proper fashion to emulate a partnership. Thank god/dess I’m the one you feel that sentiment in. And I’m The Luckiest to be yours; I’m not frontin’, hiding, faking it; know that it is inside my essential makeup to be ya Booh. That’s my choice, my decision, my calling, and it’s not a business buzz from a cell phone, it’s my one wild and precious spiritual journey on Earth. As Actual Aphrodite. The girl who has the celebrity look alike of the nude lady in the world famous fine art painting “The Birth Of Venus.” Lol! That’s me in my auburn hair, naked as the day I was born together. It’s divinity to share life the ways we do. 

Okay: I’ll reject dwelling, you’ll reject ppl on a fone, and now a no for us both: RIP MJ. Yay. Remember, stonerism is a facet of our formative years and has no place in our modern era, eternally. I haven’t had a devil on my shoulder whispering to try his lettuce. Our habit from long ago is not a chemical interdependency. Even if we smell it from passersby, our union passes by with flying colors above and beyond the influence of blazing blades of grass. It’s pointless. We are not negotiating it into our finances. Once Was One. But now am two - breathing proof, our perfect bond has us in love enough, without accessories. No spontaneous combustions! Keep off the flowers, to enjoy natural magical powers 👍.

We are both the richest poor people around. That means in shared retirement, I make abundance out of nearly nothing. I would rather you quit pOlItIcAl aCtIviSm and “income sharing community” than deal with another damn problem. Please. I’m not praying because that’s too vague, I’m begging because I’m the director too. Plz do not bother our togetherness by slipping into the machine of making m*ney. I’ve got it all, covered my brother-flame. Anything for us - I am a Family Man lmao <3. I feel sorrow and have empathy for the real struggle in your lifetime before you were casted with The Luckiest. The Golden Years are upon us in unison. Nowadays, don’t provide me with an inflated balloon to twist; nor are you anymore my agent providing support as I earn dollar to dollar cycles. You’re not in that system, I outgrew that system, we are tied for the prize of Freedom. I’m grateful we earned our Livelihood in Lindenwold and feel like we are on the same page about how to keep on growing up from here. Continually, in many shapes, you gave me a rain drop and I bloomed like the thriving cherry blossoms. We truly are a Divine Masculine & Feminine Match, in how a man is responsible for curating the foundation & a woman is responsible for building it into a Dreamboat. This dynamic is written in the cosmos, the one guiding our destiny as the GOAT (greatest of all time) for one another.

Don’t let me down. That is my Favorite Beatles Song. Ty for not letting me die! Now, if you sense my immaculate aura diminishing due to disturbia, bring me back. Sometimes, the everlasting light I am for you reflects shadows. That’s your catalyst cue - change our settings to keep the Superbass in me a happy camper. Don’t be afraid to check me, check mate. A key element of a Happy Life in this fun Game of Love is our commitment in making sure all of our connotations are in attunement with our shared Values. Values being the Virtues we know as good, wonderful, and healthy. Remember when all of the jokes tasted nasty because of the unfunny filth surrounding them… well i don’t really, as I’ve released my “doomin’ and gloomin’” about the impurities inside our past… so let’s keep those faded memories on erased mode. Never remind each other of the disgust we lived in. I cherish how “Pronouns are important but we don’t need any more fights”. Nailed it, chief! We don’t need history. We’re a blank slate babe, and we’ll write our names.

I kinda wanna formally apologize if I used music as a portal to escape reality. Or like, if my many loves meant our unity was slightly off. Yet, that idea is true both ways. Fair. I believe you love me and liked my coping mechanisms. But please - get me right - I don’t want a band to trump my IRL Partner. Equality. I hear you saying that to me as well. If my affinity for “celebrity crushes” was me worshiping false idols, disloyal to My Man, I can recognize that and move on. I can easily ease up and turn down for love, in our unique relationship, that is. I don’t really have ocd, I can quit anytime. And the time is now. I wanna listen to your psychic honey waaayyy more than I care to play another same song for the 3477789103rd time. I got the messages, I can hang up the music box. They were placeholders for our connection to dig depth. Just like the actual evil friends we had to get through along the path to our Higher Love. I wanna have deep talks, witty banter, heartfelt silences, Soulful expressions coming from us, the main stars, and not the supporting actors. We’ve graduated to this royal place in our saga. Thanks to those who were there for us, when we were evolving into the characters here today.    

Is it okay if I’m still JadeMadeFlave? Ha~ha. One a the many reasons I am in True Love with you is that we match in the freaking kitchen. First of all, we are identical in our taste buds, physique, and ideologies. Remember when we matched perfectly in every chakra on our bodies, reflecting alignment in our consumptive rituals? I do! My orange is loud, proud, and cured. OK, here is really funny story wherein my passion for us is dynamite:

We were organizing a small festival on commune grounds. This one dude there was an OG hippie. I don’t remember his name but his style and personality was clearly from the Woodstock era. Well we were having a group discussion about how to manage the food situation during QuinkFair. And he says something to the effect of:

“I’ve been to Rainbow Gathering every year since it started. I follow the movement with my wife. I think we should have at this festival the same dining setup they have at Rainbow Gathering. That’s where cuisine is made from caring volunteers, and a plate is brought to you wherever you are at the designated space during mealtimes.”

This was news to how the intentional community did lunches and dinners, from a buffet style table with a polite line. 

A few people nodded their heads in agreement and echoed his suggestion. He continued,

“Land Stewards. The ladies who deliver your plate are named ‘land stewards’ at Rainbow Gathering, as they take care of the land and its people.”

This new phrase won my heart. It’s a very nurturing gesture. It requires Trust & Acceptance. It’s a spin on waitressing which felt so homie to me. See, the festivals aren’t the negative vibes of the ‘outer world’; it’s always a module to make friends and build connections that enliven our spirits. However, this was inside a Feminist Commune. So, somebody was inclined to practice freedom of speech…

“No!” shouted one lady who idk who it was but she shot down this idea feriously. 

“We are not your bitch!” she declared. “I don’t wanna work like that, make your own damn plate, women aren’t here to be your slave, I don’t want any land stewards running around creating an image of performative femininity.” Her point was clear.

I felt at odds with my intrinsic nature. See, it’s important to know that according to wikipedia and the like, Feminism has 3 waves about the movement. First, it’s the 1970s - women entering the workforce to gain autonomy from men. Then, it’s the 1980s and 1990s - the success of that, in more equality for people of both genders, races, religions, sexualities, physical styles, mental attributes, reflecting diversity and equality in human rights gaining popularity. Then, the modern era of Y2k until the present - still the evolution of where we’ve been coming from. Sooo, I decided to formulate an opinion on my stance in this rural heated debate.

I love being a F. I wanna be a female. But I’m not angry at oppression. To me, “being a bitch” is sort of a point I enjoy making. Iontkna, obviously no disrespect to myself or my people but I’m a new waver who thinks it’s pretty cool to be a representative of (some) classic stereotypes. Remember - I am a comidienne. So I sort of love the guidance by (some of) what society says is a fine way to be. I really do not want to do math! I’d rather wash dishes! Some of what I’m saying is a grandiose American Revolution, and most of it is just my innate skillsets. Remember - I’m lgbt. So gender games are fun to play on. It is my real pleasure to embody femininity in fashions which I feel natural to who I was born as. I get a lot out of my Bohemianism, and balance that by being just your average joette. Oh & I Love Men. Lol, too much of feminism is the misconception that women hate men. I have double zero reasons to dislike anybody; remember, I’m blessed. And I think God is a Woman! Ha~ha! My life story has graced me with a belief in honest loving kindness, gratitude, caretaking, beauty, charm, pride… all aspects of being a wholesome individual, which can be instilled in anybody man or woman. So I choose woman because I want to, not because I have to, a winning lottery ticket for me, who was much younger than the feminist against Land Stewards. 

The moral of this story? I just wanna make us dinner! What really benefits us is the healing power of doing dinners as a duo. I retired from customer service roles, yet forever remain engaged in the roles which service my own Soul, and the Souls of those in my sphere. Leave the Sudoku Puzzels to my Booh, who likes doing math for fun?! LmFao, you have the inborn setting of a Male, so be it, dude! We agree on many same points. 

On this closing note, this homerun batting a thousand at a crack at Love, I’ve yet to eat today. Mania makes you unhungry. But My Man replenishes my appetite. You’ve seen me being the Real Slim Jadey, evidencing that my mind eats more than my stomach. Tho, my BMI is again at a better level. I’m not as youthful as I was during my freelance modeling career. Or the same figure I was when I was a gym rat marathoner. I have to be mindful of looking like the girl in the Violent Femmes song Blister In The Sun, when he sings, “When I’m out walking I strut my stuff and I’m so strung out…I’m high as a kite I just might stop to check you out”. Esp because of this tattoo carved in my veins. I’m saying I wanna look like I have healthy experience under my belt. Since I do! I consume only the best content imaginable, courtesy of the influence by my ManyLove(s). When I eat around 3-4pm, my booh calls it my “Dunch”; that’s my dinner brunch. He knows how a gurl like yours truly operates. Which is why if i could have dunch with anybody, alive or dead, it would be you(s). We’re still having fun and you’re still the one, activating my crown, communication, love, solar plexus, pleasure, and root. That’s Witchcraft for, if you can handle the heat, get in my kitchen table, it’s going to be a heaven of a time. Goodnight <3…